A Victorian Scrapbook

A Coquette and her lover
… The following is a specimen of sharp shooting between a coquette and her lover: - “You men are angels when you woo the maid. But devils when the marriage vow is paid.” The lover, not be out-done, replied nearly as follows: - “The change, dear girl, is easily forgiven. We find ourselves in hell instead of heaven.”

A Gem. – An eminent modern writer beautifully says: - “The foundation of domestic happiness is faith in the virtue of woman; the foundation of all political happiness in confidence in the integrity of man; and the foundation of all happiness, temporal and eternal, - reliance on the goodness of God.”

… A HINT TO MOTHERS. – A celebrated physician, among important hints to young mothers, recommends patience and care in teaching babies to feel their “footies.” He says that for the sake of seeing them tottle, they are put upon the floor too soon, which has a tendency to furnish them with an everlasting pair of parenthetical shanks.

Make a Choice
… If I must make a choice either of continual prosperity or continual adversity, I would choose the latter; for, in adversity, no good man can want comfort, whereas, in prosperity, most men want discretion.

A WORD FOR THE EAR OF SINGLE MEN. – It strikes us that there is a “word of wisdom” in the following quotation – brief as it is: “Every school boy knows that a kite would not fly unless it had a string tying it down. It is just so in life. The man who is tied down by half a dozen blooming responsibilities and their mother will make a higher and stronger flight than the bachelor, who, having nothing to keep him steady is always floundering in the mud. If you want to rise in the world tie yourself to somebody.”

GOOD FOR EVERYBODY. – Marryin’ is a good thing, it is a grate thing, as Aunt Jane ses, a grate institushion (how she noes I can’t tell, for she never had a chance to try); it’s good for everybody. Are you old – marry; it’ll make you old. In fact, it is sooted to ev’ry and ennybody. It’s a briar rose hedge that society has set up to keep folks inside the bounds uv good behaviour; and tho’ I’ve had ups and downs in it, and no all about it, still! Say, hooray for marryin’! It’s food for everybody. – American Paper.

THE WIFE. – That woman deserves not a husband’s generous love who will not greet him with a smile as he returns from the labors of the day. Who will not try to chain him to his home by the sweet enchantment of a cheerful heart. There is not one in a thousand that is so unfeeling as to withstand such influence and break away from such a home.

A BOY. Of all the sad inventions a female to annoy, There’s none a mother mentions as equal to a boy; Consistently pursuing of mischief all-day through, He’s done it, or he’s doing, or else he’s going to.

HOW MEN SHOULD TREAT WOMEN. – A Persian poet gives the following instruction upon this important subject: - “When thou art married, seek to please thy wife; but listen not to all she says. From man’s right side a rib was taken to form the woman, and never was there seen a rib quite straight. And wouldst thou straighten it? It breaks, but bends not. Since, then, ‘tis plain that crooked is woman’s temper, forgive her faults, and blame her not; nor let her anger thee, nor coercion use, as all is vain to straighten what is curved.

He: “Miss Angelina, I love you.”
She: “But I haven’t a penny in the world.”
He: “Excuse me; you did not allow me to finish. I love you not.”
She: “Oh; I only wanted to try you. You see, I have a fortune of ten thousand pounds.”
He: “Yes; but you interrupted me again. I Love you not for your money’s sake.”
She: “Well, I’m so glad, for that was only a joke about the ten thousand pounds.”

WHAT OUR PARLOURS SHOULD BE. – A modern writer says: “Don’t keep a solemn parlour, into which you go but once a month, with your parson or sewing society. Hang around your walls pictures, which tell stories of mercy, hope, courage, faith, and charity. Make your living room the largest and most cheerful in the house. Let the place be such that when your boy has gone to distant lands, or even when, perhaps, he clings to a single plank in the lone waters of the wide ocean, the thought of the still homestead may come across the desolation, bringing always light, hope, and love. Have no dungeons about your house, no room you never open, no blinds that are always shut."

WHOM TO MARRY. – When a man of sense comes to marry, it is a companion he wants, not an artist. It is not merely a creature who can play the piano admirably, sing in the operatic style, and dance to perfection; it is a being who can comfort and counsel him; one who can reason and reflect, and feel and judge, and discourse and discriminate; one who can assist him in his affairs, lighten his sorrows, purify his joys, strengthen his principles, and educate his children. Such is the woman who is fit for a mother and the mistress of a family. A woman of the former description may occasionally figure in the drawing-room and attract the attention of company, but she is entirely unfit for a helpmate to a man, and to “train up a child in the way it should go.”

WOMEN. – A handsome woman pleases the eye, a good woman pleases the heart; the one is a jewel, the other a treasure.

… There is a man out west so forgetful of faces, that his wife is compelled to keep a wafer stuck on the end of her nose, that he may distinguish her from other ladies; but this does not prevent him from making occasional mistakes.

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RECIPE FOR MATRIMONIAL HAPPINESS. – Preserve the privacies of your house, marriage state, and heart, from father, mother, sister, brother, aunt, and all the world. You two, with God’s help, build your own quiet world; every third or fourth one whom you draw into with you will form a party, and stand between you two. That should never be. Promise this to each other. Renew the vow at each temptation. You will find your account in it. Your souls will grow, as it were, together, and at last they will become as one. Ah, if many a young pair had on their wedding-day known this secret, how many marriages were happier than – alas! They are!

…. The best women in the world are those who stay at home; such is the universal opinion of the best judges, to wit: their husbands. The worst women those who have no home, or who love all other places better; such is the verdict of those who meet them abroad. A wife in the house is as indispensable as a steersman at the wheel.

…. A French clergyman observed in a recent sermon – “Women now-a-days forget in astonishing amplitude of their dresses that the gates of Heaven are very narrow.”

BOTANY BAY CEMENT. – Botany Bay gum melted and mixed with an equal quantity of brickdust.

Providence
No doubt that Providence has willed that man should be the head of the human race, even as woman it its heart; that he should be its strength, and she its solace; that he should be its wisdom, and she its grace; that he should be its mind, its impetus, and its courage, and she its sentiment, its charm, and its consolation.

A venerable old man says: - "Let the slandered take comfort - it is only at fruit trees that thieves throw stones."

....A DISCONSOLATE HOUSE – A man being asked by his neighbour how his wife did, made this answer: -
“Indeed, neighbour, this case is pitiful; my wife fears that she will die, and I fear she will not: -
which makes a disconsolate house.”

EARLY RISING. – I would inscribe on the curtains of your bed, and the walls of your chamber, if you do not rise early, you can make progress in nothing; if you do not set apart your hours for reading, if you suffer yourself or any one else to break in upon them, your days will slip through your hands unprofitable and frivolous, and unenjoyed by yourself. –

LORD CHATHAM

WORLDLY WEALTH. There is a burden of care in getting riches, fear in keeping them, temptation in using them, guilt in abusing them, sorrow in losing them, and a burden of account at last to be given up concerning them. –

MATTHEW HENRY.

“We never injure our own characters so much as when we attack those of others. Bear this in mind.”

EXPERIENCE has taught us little, if it has not instructed us to pity the errors of others and so amend our own.

A Maiden’s wants. – A jewel of a damsel has furnished, under the signature of “Nona,” a few stanzas expressive of the out gushing desires of her blessed little innocent heart. The following is a sample. Hear the darling –

“With the blessing I have, my wants are but three –
Moat simple and definite – nothing that’s wild;
I ask for no more than is needful to me –
A husband to love, a cottage, and child.”

…. A kiss on the forehead denotes reverence and respect; a kiss on the eyes shows tender and pure affection; a kiss on the cheek intimates that the donor is impressed with the beauty of the kissed one; and a kiss on the lips shows love.