Victorian Family, People and Relationships/Moral Beauty, and Gentlemanly Conduct

The most valuable and lasting species of beauty is that which is least cultivated. The young and capricious Miss, with an elegant person and finely modelled face, illuminated by brilliant orbs, and splendidly bedecked with dark shining locks, very often destroys the moral beauty of her nature merely to humor the perverseness of her physical attractions. She trusts in the power of her bodily charms, and even refuses to provide herself with those of a less perishable nature, which are not only serviceable whilst bodily beauty remains, but especially so when it is fled forever.

She prides herself in her wardrobe of silk and satin, and would encounter any species of pain or hardship to increase it, and to furnish herself with gold and with diamonds; but the wardrobe of the mind and the heart she takes little care to replenish, as if a young beauty were independent of this, and if she played her cards well, might make her fortune without it.

It is time enough to begin to be amiable when you begin to be ugly, say some young ladies, or they seem to say it. But nature punishes the perversity in a very striking and remarkable manner. They who refuse to cultivate the moral beauty during the reign of physical beauty, lose the opportunity of possessing themselves of it. And moreover, they destroy their favorite species of beauty by their independence and neglect of the other.

The temper imprints its mark upon the countenances, which very speedily reveals the character of the disposition which lurks behind it. Being a growing power, and a vigorous power, which is even strongest at death, it gradually overcomes every obstacle which stands in the way of its own escape into outward observation. It wrinkles the brow, lowers the eyebrows, bend down the curves of the mouth, and pouts the lips whenever it happens to be of a kind and generous character. It comes out at last and shows itself; and once shown and impressed upon the face, it is there so long as it continues to act from within and that is generally for life. It is no easy matter to begin to be amiable with an unamiable expression of countenance, and an unabiable and fixed habit of behavior. –

Few have strength of will sufficient to make such a change in their mode of life. It is by a mere moral resolution that such a conversion can take place. We are far more likely to become worse than better, when we find attractions of the person to cease after a heartless and imperious reign of saucy beauty. It is no easy task, indeed, to resign ourselves to our fate when our attractions have disappeared, and all at once to correct the scowl and the frown, and the haughty air, and the satirical grin, and the heartless sneer which have already left their footprints on the face, and made themselves quite at home in the very citadel of expression.

…. GENTLEMANLY CONDUCT. – Self-respect is the safest prevention against quarrelling. The man who is sure of his own position is the slowest to suspect another of any design to question it; - and hence the art of avoiding altercations has generally been deemed one of the peculiar characteristics of a gentleman. Never to seem afraid of being put upon, as the phrase goes – never to argue a question merely lest people should think you can not argue it – never to fight simply for fear the lookers on might think you a coward – these are some of the maxims on which all men of superior minds act, habitually and unconsciously; and it is this habit which gives to such men that air of repose and self-possession before which fools stand abashed and dandies are wile with envy.

Few men can have mingled, even in the slightest degree, in society, without noticing that one prominent feature is the character of a parvenue, is his proneness to take offence. His ankles are sharper, his corns “more tender,” than those of other people. There is really no knowing where to be safe with him. The moment you put your finger on him, his bristles stand out like a hedgehog’s. The best plan, of course, is to leave such a character alone. We should do our best to avoid infringing on their ramified irritability. It is senseless to provoke a man, whoever he may be, who has the power to be mischievous. The man who wants to fight you in the streets because you push against him, may be a low fellow, but that will be no consolation if you go home with a black eye. Neither will it much mend the matter if you give him two in return. On the whole, you will consider it a very disagreeable business, and wish devoutly you had never to into it.

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