A Victorian Scrapbook

It has been one of the most serious apprehensions, that in the multitude of our societies and public combinations, men and women might chance to forget that they have anything to do individually. We have societies to take care of our health, and societies to take care of our kitchens. Alms-giving. so far as done at all, is done chiefly by wholesale. Perhaps we may see the day when we shall dine together, like the Spartans, and when all family cookery and education shall be done upon the large-scale.

These thoughts were brought to my mind with greater force than common, a few days since, upon my making a visit to the house of Mrs. Nelson, the wife of a reputable farmer, a few miles from our village. If I were to attempt a portrait of this excellent woman, I should fill a volume: I can only give an outline. Mrs. Nelson is good-looking. Temperance, early raising, industrious, and above all, serene cheerfulness of soul, have left on her cheek, at forty, that colour which fashion and excitement often blast before fifteen. But what I took my pen to notice was, that truly feminine and Christian trait of my good friend, - she is a keeper at home. Though I have been a church-going man many years, I do not remember to have heard any one of our Clergy enlarge upon this Scripture phrase; and yet the older I grow, the more meaning there seems to be in it. The best women in the world are those who stay at home, such is the opinion of the best judges, to wit, their husbands. The worst women are those who have no home, or who love all other places better: such is the verdict of those who meet them abroad. A wife in the house is as indispensable as a steersman at the wheel. Who can count up the cases where poor men have been ruined by their wives?

This is a hard saying; but if it were softened, it would be less true. Surely it is no disrespect to the better sex to point at these rare exceptions, which like the dim tarnish on the face of the moon, make the other tracks look all the brighter. After you shall have exaggerated to the utmost the number and the faults of the gadding, gossiping, and idle women, we still have a million of housewives, brightening a million homes and hearts. Mrs Nelson is one of them. Her husband is not the meekest man in the country, nor by nature the most hospitable; but she makes up for all, like the credit-side of an account. In the exercise of the passive virtues she finds her greatest happiness. She holds it to be one of the very first duties of life to render her home delightful, first to her husband, next to her children, and then to all who may enter her hospitable doors. Early in life she observed that several of her husband’s intimate acquaintances were becoming irregular in their habits: she and nelson talked it over at length. He, being a rough man, declared it to be his intention to break off all intimacy with Land and Shepherd, on the spot.

“No,” said she, “that would be unwise, and would do them no good. Let me alone to bring them to a better mind: at any rate, give me a month for an experiment.”

“You, Mary!” he exclaimed in astonishment: “you amaze me. Surely you will not follow them to the bar-room, as Jemima Murphy does her good man.”

“No,” said his wife, laughing; “but we women have some secrets left still. Wait but a month.”
The month rolled round. Nelson had hard work to refrain from falling upon the two men violently; but he awaited to see the issue, and even kept out of their way that the process might be uninterrupted. At the close of less than three weeks, Land and Shepherd were two of the most quiet, orderly, and domestic men in the neighbourhood.

“Why, Mary,” said Nelson, “what in the world have you done to them?”
“I have not exchanged words with them for weeks.”
“Then you have had some witchcraft.”

“Not I,” she replied: “my plan is soon explained. I had observed for a long time that their homes were growing dismal, and I often told Mrs. Land what I feared concerning her husband. Indeed, I had heard you tell of his repeating over his glass some abominable sayings about his wife and home. After my conversation with you, I set to work, - not on the husbands, but their wives. Simple creatures, they scarcely knew what I meant! They wished, indeed, that the men would spend more time at hone; and even wept about their late hours and rum-drinking. But they were not prepared for my telling them that they must redouble their attractions of their own fireside and table, - make the cheer better, the fire brighter, their children cleaner, the welcome heartier; call in a peasant neighbour to tea, have a little reading in the evening, and even invite to a comfortable supper two or three of the husband’s tavern companions. The thing succeeded admirably. The wives were made happy, and I hope you are satisfied.”

Though it is likely Nelson did not just then suspect it, this was the very course which had proved successful in saving himself from ruinous habits. And most earnestly is it to be wished that all our towns and villages were filled with such wives as honour and love the family institution. Every one has made the observation, that there are many more women who are religious than men; but the real cause of this has not so often been remarked. Divine Providence by this discriminating favour to the one sex, pours influence into the social fountain. As are the mothers of a nation, so will be the sons, and, in a measure, the husbands. But to exercise full influence, the wife must be a keeper at home. She will find enough to employ her longest day, in the endless circle of household cares. While she will welcome the evening visitor, and often enlarge her frugal board for the coming of friends, or even join in the social party, these things will be the exceptions, not the rule. So living, she will give happiness to an ever-increasing circle. “Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.” (Prov. Xxxxi. 28.)

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EMPTY vessels when struck often emit the greatest sounds, and empty heads usually contain vociferous tongues. – Colton.