Victorian Health and Education/The Rival Doctors

THE RIVAL DOCTORS. – When the University of St. Andrews, Scotland, sold her honours, a certain minister, who thought that his ministration would be more acceptable if he possessed what the Germans call the doctor-hat, put fifteen pounds in his purse, and went to St. Andrews, to “purchase for himself a good degree.” His manservant accompanied him, and was present when his master was formally admitted to the long-desired honour. On his return, the “doctor” sent for his servant, and said to him –
“Now, Sanders, you be sure to call me the doctor; and if anybody enquires about me, you be sure to say, "the doctor’s in his study," or "the doctor’s engaged," or "the doctor will see you in a moment."

“That depends” replied Sandy, “On whether you can call me the doctor too!” Before the rev. doctor could speak Sandy continued, “Ay, it’s so, for when I found that it cost so little I’ve been and got a diploma myself. So you'll be just good enough to say `Doctor, put on some coals,’ or, `Doctor, bring me the whiskey and hot water; and if anybody enquires to you about me, you’ll be sure to say, `the doctor’s in the stable, ’or, `the doctor’s in the pantry;’ or, `the doctor’s digging potatoes,’ as the case may be.

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