…. A secret is like silence – you cannot talk about it; it is like money – when you once
know there is any concealed, it is half discovered.
“My dear Murphy,” said an Irishman to his
friend, “why did you betray the secret I told you?”
“Is it betraying that you call it? Sure, when I
found I wasn’t able to keep it myself, didn’t I do well to
tell it to somebody who could?”
…. A GREAT EVIL NOT REMOVED. - A conference preacher
one day went into the house of a Wesleyan Reformer, and saw, suspended
on the walls, the portraits of the three expelled ministers.
“What,” said he, “you have them there?”
“O, yes, they are there,” was the answer.
“But one is wanted to complete the set.”
“Pray, who it that?”
“Why, the devil, to be sure.”
“Ah,” said the Reformer, “he is not yet expelled from
…. GOOD GRACIOUS! – An unmarried lady on
the wintry side of fifty, hearing of the marriage of a young lady, her
friend, observed with a deep and sentimental sigh, -
“Well, suppose it is what we all must come to.”
…. “As I was going,” said an Irishman, “over
Westminster Bridge, the other day, I met Pat Hewins.”
“Hewins,” says I, “How are you?”
“Pretty well, I thank you, Donley,” says he.
Says I, “that’s not my name.”
“Faith, no more is my name Hewins,” says he.
So we looked at each other, and faith it turned out to be neither of